did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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