I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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