to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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