wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
