yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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