Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
