this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
