im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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