Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
