why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
