why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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