So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
