I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
bring money and cleavage
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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