The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize