mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
