OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Someone shattered a urinal.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
