And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
