Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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