Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
