I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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