Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
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she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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