We won't sleep together?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
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