Yo dont text me then not text me
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
