Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
