i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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