and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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