I'm retarded. Again.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Small penises have feelings too.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.