i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize