I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
no you cant smoke seaweed
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize