Already got asked if we're dating
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
