that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
