Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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