Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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