Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
