3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
