Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
The Olympian is in my bed