i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp