Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
im so drunk with asians
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed