Texts From Last Night

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  (765): View more from Indiana

  So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?

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  (765): So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head? http://tfl.nu/senf
  Replies (31) Good night (7540) Bad night (545)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.

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  (734): The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister. http://tfl.nu/1i96
  Replies (18) Good night (6858) Bad night (1087)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.

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  (360): I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes. http://tfl.nu/s6gu
  Replies (17) Good night (4769) Bad night (1056)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.

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  (919): He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy. http://tfl.nu/fux5
  Replies (11) Good night (4927) Bad night (995)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?

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  (902): Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having? http://tfl.nu/d7ao
  Replies (36) Good night (547) Bad night (6457)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler

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  (509): We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler http://tfl.nu/7vbk
  Replies (12) Good night (1360) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.

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  (541): I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that. http://tfl.nu/zm0m
  Replies (3) Good night (1354) Bad night (422)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.

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  (318): Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun. http://tfl.nu/0u88
  Replies (7) Good night (481) Bad night (1222)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.

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  (419): I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems. http://tfl.nu/2nf8
  Replies (8) Good night (1054) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover

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  (214): If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover http://tfl.nu/4860
  Replies (6) Good night (243) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.

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  (415): I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame. http://tfl.nu/5rwn
  Replies (1) Good night (730) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.

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  (480): He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps. http://tfl.nu/9n8s
  Replies (4) Good night (291) Bad night (189)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...

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  (618): After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical... http://tfl.nu/b9b8
  Replies (2) Good night (742) Bad night (224)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.

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  (504): Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls. (985): Do it. DO IT. There can be only one. http://tfl.nu/899w
  Replies (3) Good night (937) Bad night (181)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.

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  (303): I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen. http://tfl.nu/ym4o
  Replies (2) Good night (312) Bad night (138)

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