im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend