I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
