Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
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got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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