Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
