My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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