Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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