Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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