I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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