They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
