i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
