Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize