She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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