he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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