how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
