so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Alive.
So much puke
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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