Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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