you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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