How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
