oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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