Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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