Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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