Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she told me i tasted like america
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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